How I Miss You

Oh, free time. Time to blog. Time to think. How I miss you.

Life as a working momma of two is a little overwhelming. Okay, a lot overwhelming. There seems to be so little time for anything - for working, for parenting, for reading and reflecting, for cooking, for relaxing...

Here is an example of how our workdays "work":
6:00 - 7:00 Try to wake up early enough to get some emails for work sent, without waking children
7:00 - 8:30 Shower, feed myself, Barrow & Alice
8:30 - 8:35 Panic because I'm so late to work (again), try to get dressed
8:35 - 8:45 Rush around getting finishing touches on my work outfit, packing up purses, etc.
8:45 - 9:30 Commute
9:30 - 5:05 Work like a maniac, often involving hours of meetings. Try to sneak 2 pumping sessions in. Have had several days without a bathroom break all day.
5:05 - 5:50 Commute
5:50 - 8:30 Hubby & I get family fed, dishes clean, apartment straightened, kids bathed, put to bed
8:30 - 10:30 Collapse in a heap on the couch
10:30 - 11:15 Pack lunches for the next day
11:15 - 11:30 Get ready for bed
11:30 Collapse in a heap in bed

Barrow is thankfully sleeping better and better. We bought a noise machine, so lately he has been sleeping until 5, waking up to eat, then going back to sleep. But last night he was up at 2. So ya never know. But we're getting there.

I find adjusting my own personal expectations to how I can perform at work particularly challenging and depressing. I just don't have the flexibility to stay late to get things done, and that makes it hard to ever feel on top of my game. Especially because so much of my new job is responding to crises, so when one inevitably arises at the end of the work day, it's challenging to figure out when to deal with it. I should be better about working after the kids go to bed, but I find I'm so fried by then that it takes me forever to produce a mediocre product.

Anyway, while I'm exhausted and stretched and haven't even mentioned how much I long for time alone and quality time with my husband, I'm also loving life. I feel so lucky to have two beautiful children, a wonderful husband, a job I enjoy, etc. I know how blessed I am.