Tomorrow, Mamma goes back to work. It's unbearable. For the past 13 weeks. the three of us have been almost inseparable. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been without at least one of the two of you. But tomorrow I'm facing a full day without Alice's laughs and Barrow's smiles, and it is killing me.
We've had an adventureous, active time together. Maternity leave included trips to the New York Botanical Gardens, to Macy's to see Santa, to Central Park to enjoy the zoo and the horses, countless visits to story time & the library & the Children's Museum, to the Met, to Queens, to Maryland & Virginia. We had lunches with Daddy and dinners as a family. We read every day and did chores as needed. We took care of each other.
Returning to work this time around is very different. I understand better the challenges that lay ahead - for both the good and the bad. I'm excited to be able to use the bathroom by myself. I'm sad to know how hectic our evenings will be.
Above all else - what I don't worry about this time around is whether you will know how much we love you, Barrow. We love you so, so much. And I know that, even though I'll be at work, you will feel how much we do.
"But when she stepped off the train in New York, her plain little face looked beautiful for a moment, as if the future were opening before her and its glow were already upon her forehead, as if she were eager and proud and ready to meet it..."