Dark

Just because she's so cute!

I woke up at 5:30 this morning, jumping out of bed to get a shower before our hot water turned off at 6 (oh, apartment living...). I was shocked to see just how dark it is at 5:30 am.

This summer, I wrote about my internal debate with waking early enough to get some quiet time in the morning versus sleeping in to get some rest. When it was light out, I chose to wake up, practice some yoga, enjoy some quiet time before my day ran away from me. But more recently, as the morning light drifted later and later, I stayed in bed longer. I've noticed that I can actually stay awake at night with my husband. I'm definitely more rested when I wake up, and think I'm a little less moody than I was before. But I've also been consistently late for work, pushing my dinner prep time to after Michael & Alice leave the apartment in the morning. I've felt more frantic from 6:45 AM until 9:30 AM. And I definitely haven't done any yoga in weeks.

I guess this is just another balancing act, like so many others. For now, I'm enjoying some extra sleep and think it is worth the sacrifice. But I'm also already excited for lighter mornings and early rises...

(PS Is this the most boring post ever?!?)

Happy Babe!

A Bull in a China Shop

Joy (cont.)

18-Months Old!!

As if on cue...

Continued.

This morning, Alice woke up early. After a few sweet minutes of play, she went bananas. Broke my glasses. Cried for an hour. Brought me to tears.

Please let today improve. Please let tonight be better. Please.

Challenged

Today was a hard day. Leaving work I was giddy to see Alice. Michael had to work late, so I knew I would get some quiet time with her. But from the second I walked in the door to the last cries before she fell asleep, the baby was just a total nut with me. She had utterly adorable moments (for example, she helped me load the washing machine with clothes tonight, gently picking up items from the pile I put at her feet and shoving them overhead into the machine). But she also broke down into fits of tears at least four times in the two hours we spent together.

Days like this are really hard, because I am just aghast that we spend oodles of money to have a woman spend the best parts of the day with Alice, while M & I get stuck with the grunt work. It feels like hiring an intern to take all of the work that requires your brain, relegating you to data entry and filing. I know that it is all for the best, for both Alice and for me, but days like today make me wonder why we run this crazy race.

So, to make me happy, I watched this:

Breakfast

What a Day

So much to say, but here's a funny thing that happened today - I met a bunch of guys who were on "The Biggest Loser"! They joined us for the Largest Zumba Party in NYC History, celebrating the launch of the mobile enhanced version of BeFitNYC.org. Pretty random. Pretty cool.

Biggest Losers Mark Pinhasovich, Frado Dinten, Danny Cahill & Patrick House

Sleep Love

Love ya!

Autumn Snack

Apples, cheddar cheese and Fine Cooking magazine. Lovely!

Fall & Other Musings

It's 8:40 AM on a Sunday morning. My sweet, angelic daughter is still asleep. So is my sweet, angelic husband. The house is quiet, and I'm enjoying the cooler, fall air, the warmth of my morning tea and cuddling up with my brother's birthday present. It's perfect.

Fall is officially here, given our morning started with a cool 56 degrees. It's a gorgeous morning - sun shinning, sea gulls crying, the hum of traffic as quiet as it gets in NYC. I'm looking forward to a day with my family. Hopefully it will include a trip to the farmers market (which we never get to anymore), a long walk in Riverside Park, lunch out and about.

This time of year is hopelessly romantic for me. I've written about it in the past, and yet the feeling of anticipation and anxiety and possibility always takes me by surprise. We shake off the summer doldrums and reconnect with what's happening in the world, feeling like something meaningful might change. I never quite feel like I take full advantage of the fall, but hope I do better with each passing year.

And now, back to my book, the quiet, and my morning tea...

(Oh, and PS, did I mention we found a new nanny yesterday? She starts tomorrow...)

Therapy

Highlight

What would I do without these two!?!

Continued

Today was not the best day, either. The main event: our nanny quit. With 2 days notice. She has asthma and J & A's cat has been making her pretty sick. So it wasn't a huge surprise. But it is disappointing, and stressful.

But there was this:

And then this:

Scared.

Today was a bad day. It started with nightmares about losing Alice on the A train. It continued with my mom spending the day in the basement of the American Embassy in Kabul, trying to stay safe during the attacks.

I did not handle this news with grace or dignity. In fact, I cried. Gross, ugly, mildly embarrassing cries. To date, I think I've been able to ignore the realities of where my mom is working, pretending that she is safe and sound, acting as the Peace Corps Director in some new and unexplored part of the world. Instead she's in the middle of a war zone.

My mom is safe tonight, and I am so grateful. There are so many other people in this country facing the same reality - loved ones far away, sometimes safe, sometimes in harms way. I can never know enough to keep her safe and protected. I can't love her enough to keep her alive. And I think today's brush - however brief - with mortality was more than I wanted from the day.

The truth is that we all face dangers every day, right? Today I drove on highways and flew in a plane and took a taxi and lived in New York. There are risks with each of those decisions. But somehow the distance, or the uncertainty, or the boldness of living in Afghanistan... It makes me scared. Proud. And scared.

Why?

Today was one of those days when I questioned my loyalty to New York. In chronological order:

1. This morning I attempted guided meditation using my new favorite obsession, YogaGlo.com. I haven't been getting to the gym regularly, so I've started doing yoga at home using classes streamed on this site. I've been meaning to try meditation, so this morning I settled into our play room - the sunniest, most pleasant space in our apartment - and pushed play. Unfortunately I couldn't hear the pearls of wisdom streaming from my computer because the trucks and train noises just outside our apartment were too loud. I turned off the computer in disgust.
   
   
2. Michael and I have been battling a mouse problem. For about a month. Our super finally came in to identify where the mice are entering, and we have a hole behind the dishwasher. Oh, and there are several gaps between our floor and the baseboards on our walls. Oh, and by the way, there are mouse droppings in my kitchen. Yuck. [Of course, at least I have a super. If I were a homeowner in Virginia, for example, who would check this out for free?!]
   
   
3. I took Penelope, Naomi & Alice to the playground today. While there, a little boy about Alice's age wanted to play with them. This boy looked hungry, and sick, and in desperate need of a bath and some grown up attention. I gave him some of our snack and the girls would occasionally invite him to join. It made me sad. This isn't an experience directly related to New York, but somehow it felt like this City contributed to this boy's situation.
   
   
4. It's just been a noisy, noisy night. Loud music from some neighbor's car. Trains and trucks and taxis galore. No crickets. No birds. No cicadas. Just transportation.

Obviously I still love New York. I just need to go out and enjoy the parts that make it worthwhile before I drive my husband bananas.

Love

Dear Alice,

This weekend, you, your daddy and I went to Rehoboth Beach. It was your first trip to this heavenly destination, and I'm happy to report that you loved it! We spent the weekend eating Grottos Pizza, playing in the sand, watching the waves crash, and enjoying some quality time with your Grandma & Grandpa, who also came up to visit. And, my sweet love, we took you to Funland.

You loved your first trip to the beach, and we loved sharing this special place with you. Your daddy and I both grew up with family vacations, and it's a thrill to start this new tradition.

Your vocabulary is growing by the second. You can now say car, ball, please, blueberries (kind of), milk and a smattering of others. Your favorite books are "Llama Llama, Red Pajama," "Goodnight Moon," "My Big Golden Counting Book," and "Goodnight Gorilla." You love to help open and close doors, and are very happy to walk to the elevator all by yourself. You enjoy dancing.

When we say goodnight now, we give kisses between the slots of the crib. And then I say a silent prayer and hope you find this joy in your life.

I love you more than anything ever!

Love,
Mommy

Too Cute

Friends (Cont.)

Countdown

Friday - I came home from work at 12:30 am.

Saturday - I came home from work at 3:00 pm.

Sunday - I came home from work at 3:00. AM. Monday morning.

Monday night - M came home from work at 10:00 pm.

Tuesday - M came home from work at 8:30 pm. I came home at 10:00 pm.

Tonight - M will be home around 10 pm.

Tomorrow - M will be home around 8 pm.

Friday - Rehoboth!

Alice

Alice and I had SUCH a fun afternoon together!! I picked her up early, and we walked home through the park. We took our time, just letting Alice walk wherever she wanted to go. It took us 2 and a half hours to get from daycare home -- all of 20 blocks. But it was heavenly. Alice ran all over the place, playing in the grass and mud and uneven sidewalks. She pointed at every dog that walked by, and cheered when we reached the swings. It was just such a pleasant, relaxing afternoon - no pressure, just fun. Heaven.



I love the arms in the air on this picture - a carefree and happy Alice:


And this video is worth it for the last 5 seconds:



Finally, in the midst of the hurricane on Sunday morning, desperate for an activity to amuse Alice (as well as ourselves), we let Alice "finger paint" with died yogurt (THANK YOU Sarah for this great idea). We stupidly let Alice see us mixing the paints, so she just chowed down. Adorable!

Placeholder

Lots to say, but for now, I've been listening to this song on repeat since about midnight last night:



The romance of this story is overwhelming and beautiful.

Excited!

Just booked my ticket to visit this sweet lady...

On a Mission

Grocery list all ready to roll!

Alice Sleeps...

... So Mommy reads under the covers with a cup of tea. Heavenly.

Ideal

Lately I've been talking with other working mommy friends about the struggle to keep our families fed/clean/happy, our work life on track and ourselves sane - forget about living by some principals we value (i.e. eating home-cooked food, visiting farmers markets, getting out of the City every once in a while).

So of course we all come to one basic conclusion: can't we work 3 days a week? This is a silly idea to waste too much time on, since most of us can't afford that option. But it does sound lovely - having a few days out of the house to be engaged in the outside world, but also having enough time to get groceries purchased and apartments cleaned and errands run so that we aren't spending family time dealing with chores.

Ahhhh dreams...

(PS Are you sick of the same post over and over?)

Bag o' Books

Break

Sometimes

Sometimes I really miss the old neighborhood. I miss the way our apartment was put together, the feeling of being settled. We've lived in this apartment for a year and a half, and I still feel like we haven't fully moved in.

Of course, then I remind myself of the kitchen and the bathroom and the lack of doors, and I realize that living in our studio at this stage in life would be an insane challenge. But it was great while it lasted.

Bath with Friends

We did it!

Today is August 12th. Five years ago, Michael & I got married! Congratulations, my love!

It's been a thrilling five years - graduate schools; a law degree & a public health degree; about 200 jobs; two apartments; five countries; multitiudes of trips to Virginia and discussions about where to live and debates about politics and life in the City and having a family; and - of course - Alice.

I can't quite shake the feeling that I got better end of the deal. I married a man who is brilliant, romantic, fun, interesting, engaged in the world and his role in it. He wants to do good for people. He wants a life that prioritizes family above all else. He is exceptional.

Happy anniversary, my love!

Morning (Take 2)

I had an insanely productive morning. Before leaving for work, I:

• Did laundry
• Made lunches
• Made breakfast for Alice (forgot to make anything for myself, or for the hubs)
  
• Did all the prep work for dinner
  
• Unloaded the dishwasher
• Dressed Alice
• Hugged, kissed and loved on my family

It felt pretty great, I have to tell you. I've started preparing for dinner in the mornings, which has helped ease the stress of the evening and increased the frequency of us eating at home. We've been doing very well with family dinners, eating together at least 5 times a week. It's been a priority, and we've been sticking with it. I'm pretty proud, I have to say.

And can I ask for some input? I would LOVE book recommendations & good summer-time recipes (i.e. those that don't require the oven or stove for any longer than 20 minutes). Please share!!

Work, cont.

Last night, we continued to promote the "Make NYC Your Gym" campaign with a night at the Brooklyn Cyclones, one of our local minor league baseball teams. Their stadium is out in Coney Island, on the boardwalk by the beach.


We had a lovely time, my colleagues and me, watching inflatable characters promote fitness and seeing the stadium erupt in cheer when mascots started tossing out our "Make NYC Your Gym" T-Shirts.


You can't really tell, but this is a picture of our logo on the jumbo tron! And here is one of our fun colleagues wearing their shirts and showing their support for the campaign:

The New Normal

Our office moved out to Long Island City in April. Our new lunchtime walks take us here:


So insanely random.