2010

Happy New Year! Michael and I have enjoyed a quiet, relaxing day - waking only to go back to sleep, reading quietly, watching TV, eating home-cooked food. I ventured out for a walk around our new neighborhood around 3, and it just felt nice to stretch my legs for no reason other than to enjoy being outdoors. I didn't have a destination in mind, but just meandered for a bit. I ended up walking home through Riverside Park - beautiful.



2009 was a strange year for our household, dominated largely by work. Of course, the highlight was finding out about our beautiful baby girl. Others included a week at Rehoboth with my mom and brother, visits with family in Virginia, Florida and New York, and weekend getaways with just me and my man.

2010 has so much in store for us! God willing, we'll bring home a baby girl! My brother will graduate college! My mom will move back to the States! Our professional lives will progress! And we'll continue to make this new apartment our home.

One of the life changes I worry about when thinking about becoming a mom is just feeling constantly stressed and never feeling present anywhere. Balancing work and family will be more difficult than I can even imagine yet. But today, during my slow and enjoyable walk around the neighborhood, I saw glimpses of how I hope we can find peace with our little family. It's going to be the challenge of 2010, but well worth it.

Dr. Oz

Dr. Oz's resolution advice is very interesting, and available here.

Snow!

Situation Rectified

Today I:

• Stayed in my PJs until 11 AM (granted, I was calling places about life and rental insurance, but still!);
• Baked chocolate chip cookies in my spacious, sunny kitchen;
  
• Returned some wedding gifts (that's right --- wedding gifts! three years later!) and came away with $300 to spend without guilt at Crate & Barrel;
• Talked to Melissa for a good long time;
• Took a nap; and
• Went to the gym!

I had a wonderful day, made enjoyable not only by the events of the day but by the people with whom I was able to spend time. I talked to Melissa, who is one of the most amazing people ever, and then enjoyed Christine's strength training class at the gym. Both of these ladies just lift my spirits and make me a happier person. Now I'm just so excited to see my hubby and enjoy a healthy, delicious dinner at home.

Hooray!!

27-week Baby Bulge!

It's just too funny!

Stress

The past six weeks have been some of the most stressful Michael and I have faced. But that's a reoccurring theme here. What I'm wondering is when I am going to let myself calm down. Today was madness - and my list of chores for tomorrow remains dauntingly long. I didn't read. I didn't go to the gym. I didn't cook anything. I didn't talk to Melissa or Austen. I just ran around the Upper West Side, scarfing down a hot dog and some water for lunch.

And this is me on VACATION.

I think tonight I'm going to let someone else cook Michael and I dinner (hopefully with a vegetable or two somewhere in sight). I just took a bath for the first time in God knows how long. And I'm listening to one of my favorite classical CDs (Horowitz in Hamburg: The Last Concert) to calm my nerves from the long day. Michael will be home soon, and we'll just curl up in front of the TV, order in some dinner and relax. I've earned this... right?

Getting it Done

Joyously, I don't have to work today. Or at all this week! I took the whole week of to focus on chores around the house, to help us get settled into our new apartment. I'm so grateful to have the time, and amazed by the growing list of things to do... I don't know how relaxing the next few days will be, but at least I don't have to spend my Saturdays and Sundays for the next two months doing them.

Today's list includes a visit to the doctor, to Best Buy to recycle some old computers, to Bed, Bath & Beyond to return a shoe rack that is too big for my shoes, to Apple to get my iPhone fixed, and then cleaning up the kitchen pantry.

Christmas 2009

Today Michael and I celebrated our first Christmas in New York. Between his parents' move to Austin, our move to the new apartment, the pregnancy and my brother's trip to Armenia, it didn't make much sense for us to travel this holiday weekend. While it was sad to be without extended family, I loved celebrating this Christmas in our new home!

Michael and I picked up a our tree last night and decorated it with lights and about 14 ornaments while listening to Christmas music. Most of our celebrating has focused on food: lasagna for dinner last night, popovers for breakfast today, and beef brisket for our Christmas dinner. We also made it to church, and to the movies. Overall, the focus has been on enjoying some relaxing time in this empty city of ours.

I love my husband and this family we are creating.

Michael hiding behind out tree:

My first attempt at popovers:

A delicious Christmas dinner of beef brisket, mashed potatoes, asparagus and salad:

My New Morning View

Sitting in our beautiful guest room to enjoy my first cup of tea.


Merry Christmas Eve everyone! Hope work days are short and travel nightmares few. Love to all!!

The View

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to get to work, but one option is to catch the 1 train at 125th. Here was the view from the above-ground tracks this morning:

The Weekend in Pictures

Starting on Friday morning...


Friday Night...



Saturday morning...



Saturday night...


Sunday Night...






Oh, and I heard it snowed this weekend!?

Barrow

Michael and I moved into Barrow Street four years ago. We were engaged, though not yet married, and this made both of us a little uncomfortable. We were nervous about moving in together, having heard from many friends that the transition from dating to being roommates was a rough one. And we were making it harder by moving into a tiny studio in the West Village.

And two weeks after moving in, we looked at each other and said, "Isn't this fun?!" We spent our first New Years dancing in our new place, celebrating with champagne and Mariah Carey.

And then we got married, and had the Honeymoon from Hell, and worked through graduate school, and found jobs, and faced our first marital hurdles. We found regular walking routes, and made friends at the book store and at the gym and at Chipotle and at the dry cleaner and at the laundry. We got to know our neighbors.

In short, we made a home on Barrow Street.

Leaving this weekend was emotional and difficult. But I look to the future, remembering that (God willing) Michael and I will bring our first child into this new home. We will find new routes and make new friends. Our marriage will grow here, mature here, continue to thrive here. We will celebrate new milestones and savor this home as well.

The Messiah: Year 10

Tonight, I attended Handel's Messiah with my dear friend Jordana. This is the tenth year I've seen this concert - twice in Charlottesville, once in Madrid, and seven times in New York. It holds special meaning to me now, having become an integral part of my Christmas celebrations.

I managed to record the last few minutes of tonight's performance. While the Hallelujah chorus, by all accounts, should be my favorite number of the night, I actually far prefer the Amen at the very end of the night. I love its simplicity, and the way it always feels like a prayer of thanksgiving for a beautiful evening.

Daunting

Tonight is the night. We have to start packing. The movers arrive at 8 AM on Saturday morning, and we have to be at least a little ready.

And yet, I'm sitting here on the couch, utterly overwhelmed at the thought of packing up this glorious little apartment that has served us so well. I think this entire week will be devoted to soaking up every last minute in our place, in our neighborhood.

On my walk home from the office yesterday (which I will miss so, so dearly), I walked by a party for wholesale rose sellers! The party was held inside a dark, comfortable, neighborly bar just around the corner from our apartment. It's the perfect spot for the winter - warm and cozy. And yesterday, it was covered in roses! Lovely! This was the best I could do as far as photos:

25-Week Baby Bulge

This Just In

The most recent production from my office, in an attempt to discourage too much soda consumption:


Oh, and 30 Rock is filming on our street right now!

Colors

Michael and I spent this weekend painting. It was exhausting, but I think it turned out very nicely!

What do you think?

Pink in the Baby's Room

Yellow for Our Bedroom & the Guest Room

Weekly Inspirations

I listened to Obama's Nobel remarks on Friday, and thought I'd share my favorite lines:

So even as we respect the unique culture and traditions of different countries, America will always be a voice for those aspirations that are universal. We will bear witness to the quiet dignity of reformers like Aung Sang Suu Kyi; to the bravery of Zimbabweans who cast their ballots in the face of beatings; to the hundreds of thousands who have marched silently through the streets of Iran. It is telling that the leaders of these governments fear the aspirations of their own people more than the power of any other nation. And it is the responsibility of all free people and free nations to make clear that these movements -- these movements of hope and history -- they have us on their side.

24 Week Baby Bump!

Fun Times!

Remembering some laughs enjoyed in Cambodia!

Plans Change

This week has been a long one. I spent four of the five work days visiting elementary school classrooms all over the city. This has required many early mornings, despite late nights, and I'm pooped! Visiting kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade classrooms was mildly terrifying - and at times rather sad. Teachers continue to earn my total respect. I don't know that I could ever work in such chaos. But I'm also amazed at how negative school environments can be. Every day at lunch I heard a new group of teachers complaining about their students, fellow faculty, principals, administrators, testing, etc. etc. etc. It's tiring passing day in and day out in that kind of workplace.

In addition to my crazy schedule, Michael has put in very late hours this week. Wednesday was his office's Christmas party, so we enjoyed an evening together. But he got home at 9 or later every other night (including an arrival around 1:40 AM this morning) and now will be working over the weekend.

I'm leaving for my grandmother's funeral alone... I don't think this weekend will be quite as rejuvenating as I had hoped. But perhaps the time with family will help heal some of the sadness.

Things I Should Be Doing Right Now

1. Going to the gym
2. Figuring out what to cook for dinner
3. Shopping for more maternity clothes
   
4. Writing a thank you note
5. Calling the host of friends I miss talking with
   
6. Christmas shopping
7. Walking around the neighborhood
8. Needle pointing
   

And instead I am lying on the couch, listening to Christmas music and debating my next moves. And wondering if The Biggest Loser will still be on, despite President Obama's address on Afghanistan...

This is not a high point for me, is it? :)

Transitions

Michael and I are all over the place right now.

Here are the transitions that we're in the midst of:

• Moving from the home where we've started off our loving marriage, into the home where we will begin to raise our family;
  
  
• Supporting Michael's parents as they courageously leave McLean for Austin, Texas, and yet grieving a bit as we lose our home base in Northern Virginia;
  
  
• Relinquishing our independent, 20-something selves to become 30-something parents to our beautiful baby girl;
  
  
• Saying goodbye to my grandmother; and
  
  
• Saying goodbye (temporarily) to the petite - and generally speaking comfortable - body I've maintained in order to become very happy parents.

There's obviously much more joy in here than sorrow. But we are in the difficult phase - thinking about many of these transitions before they actually occur. Stressing about movers and paint colors and sleep deprivation before enjoying new routines and loving smiles and three bedrooms. Michael and I are eager to see the comfort we've established in January, and even more thrilled for our little girl to join our lives.

There's lots floating around in my mind about all of these things, but I seem too overwhelmed to really put those down on paper (or computer screen). We'd appreciate prayers for peace and patience!

21 Week Baby Bump

Elizabeth

My grandmother passed away tonight. She was 91 years old and had lived a full, rich life. Together with my grandfather, my grandmother raised 5 children and 10 grandchildren. She traveled the world when it wasn't exactly fashionable for people - let alone women - to do so. She was born in India and inspired her grandkids with stories of road trips from London to India, cruises on sail boats from California to Peru, and car rides through Afghanistan.

That said, I think the element of my grandmother's life that left me most in awe was the profound love she shared with my grandfather. Anyone lucky enough to be in a room with the two of them quickly discovered that they were with kindred spirits. True, their relationship began in a different era, when divorce and separation were unheard of. But my grandparents' love for one another went beyond the comforts of sharing stories and raising children. They genuinely enjoyed one another's company. They kept each other laughing, served one another, honored one another, amused one another, even after death. My grandfather passed away in 2002, but I don't think I heard my grandmother say more than three sentences without bringing him up. Being with my grandmother meant spending time with my grandfather, and vice versa. The two of them were uniquely paired, clearly divinely created for one another.

When my grandmother died tonight, I was cooking dinner for my husband. I was imagining how happy my grandfather would be to have my grandmother with him again. I was thinking about their treasured memories that none of us will ever know - the times they shared, like Michael and I share now, that aren't recorded by children or friends or neighbors. Times that passed between the two of them that nobody else could alter.

I cherish those moments that I share with my husband now, and feel like my marriage is the greatest way of honoring my grandparents' memories. I think if they could see the ways my husband and I are with one another now, when it is just the two of us, before we become ever-expanding units with children, then grandchildren, then greats, they would be pleased. They would recognize these times are tributes to them, and be proud of the legacy they have left behind.

Upside Down

What a week!

First, we found out that our little boy is actually a little GIRL! For weeks, we've been imaging our new family with a baby boy at its center, as our family unit dominated by males. We've been rubbing my belly, asking him what names he likes, talking about raising a little man. And now we're back to square one! We're rethinking this future, now with a baby girl at its heart. It's amazing and exciting and daunting all the same. For some reason, a boy seems... easier to me. A girl is scary! Wish us luck! Here's a picture of her beautiful profile:


Second, Michael and I found a new home! Our new apartment is a gorgeous, large 3-bedroom just north of Columbia. It's about three times the size of our current place and will be a lovely place to build our family. We even have room to host family and friends!

Michael's & My Bedroom

The Study/Guest Bedroom

Our Little GIRL's Room

Our Living Room

The Kitchen

Insanity

For news of yesterday's chaos, please visit M's blog here.

Veterans Day 2009

Today is Veterans Day. It's the second year I've marked the occasion since beginning my blog (last year's post is here), and I must admit that my feelings on the matter haven't changed much.

It comes as no surprise that I wholeheartedly adore President Obama. I think he is the best there is, and that I am not likely to know any better during my lifetime. That said, I still long for calls to sacrifice on behalf of the hundreds of thousands of families effected by the two wars we're currently fighting. I find myself fairly insulated from the realities of war. My husband and I live together. I don't worry for his safety on a daily basis. We don't have to raise children using Skype. I don't worry about post traumatic stress or the psychological impacts of combat.

I'm grateful to live free of these burdens. But is it fair that I can continue to do so, sheltered from these realities? I don't know how to solve this problem, but I do know that I am so beyond grateful to those men and women who agree to leave friends and family behind to go serve our country, regardless of their feelings about the wars that separate them.

What will I tell my son about war, and service to our country?

Donations on behalf of families who lost loved ones in service can be made here:
Special Operations Warrior Foundation

20 Week Baby Bump!

Can you tell?!?! I've had three strangers ask me when I'm due, so I think it's official!

Hilarious!

Fall Foliage

From an above-ground M Train in Brooklyn

With my Very Good Looking Hubby

Delicious

At 8 PM last night, Michael and I returned to reality. We spent the most glorious three days in Miami, living in some dream world. It was utterly delicious.

The trip was meant to be our last vacation requiring plane travel before the baby arrives. So we did it up! We stayed at the Trump International Beach Resort, and never left its warm embrace. We dined in our rooms, down by the pool, at the resort restaurants. We played in the pool for hours, read for pleasure, and even splurged for massages.



This was the first vacation Michael and I have had without beloved family or friends since Asia, and it felt wonderful to be alone (with our little boy, of course). This was a particularly sinful type of getaway - one where you didn't let yourself feel guilty about laying around and doing nothing, about not visiting downtown Miami or about spending too much money. We just spent time together, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. We even managed to keep our cell phones locked away for much of the trip - truly a special occasion.

Throughout we discussed our little developing family - our excitement for this little boy to join us, for the children that will follow. We talked about the challenges of being parents, and the names we might give our kids. The resort was bizarrely international. We were two of only a handful of Americans there - most were European families. It was reassuring to see them playing in the pool together, traveling with extended networks of families and friends, to see parents having fun playing with their children and seeing kids just LOVING the pool.

Boarding the plane last night, we both remarked on how this might be the last of the easy passes through security. Next time, we'll be the ones with babies and strollers and diaper bags and all the goodness that goes along with it. Pretty exciting!!

My Delicious Virgin Pina Colada

Michael's Delicious and Very Non-Virgin Pina Colada

In the Meantime

Tomorrow, a more detailed post about our amazing getaway. But for now...